The Good Flowed In From All Directions

: kaeltegoeth; June 29th, 12:00

So then it's less a matter of "I'm going home for a week when really I'd rather give myself over to literature or nightbiking or, yes, both" and more a matter of "I'm going home for a week and I'll play Unreal Tournament and wear booty shorts* and if people want to hang out with me, then - by God - they gotta find me."

*not accurate

nightbiking, NC.

: kaeltegoeth; June 6th, 23:36

My mother and I sat in a field and watched the moon surge up over the pine horizon and into a ceiling of clouds and then we left. There was a band there and they were talented, and Myron was there and he was Myron and lovable, but for the most part these things were peripheral.

I'm still destroying my Spanish class. Week two of five ended yesterday - meaning, I think, that I just completed almost a semester of classwork.

In completely separate terms, week one ended Thursday or maybe today. I'm hanging tuff. I can do this. It's for everyone's benefit.

june on the east coast.

: kaeltegoeth; June 4th, 23:05

Yes, I saw.
Yes, it was a surprise.
Yes, I'm okay.
Yes, I'm being strong.

heavy boots.

: kaeltegoeth; May 31st, 11:49

This feels or I feel low, low, low. I'm steeping myself in schoolwork today and tonight I will not go to sleep sad and tomorrow I will not wake up sad.

Protect ya neck, library.

you.

: kaeltegoeth; April 21st, 12:07

stop.

cornerstone.

: kaeltegoeth; March 28th, 16:48

I'm resolute in my goals - I haven't taken edge to leg in two weeks; haven't been blind drunk or had a cigarette in longer - but I can't bring myself to follow any sage advice I don't generate for myself. Is there a medical term for this brand of bullheadedness?

more homework.

: kaeltegoeth; March 26th, 10:41

I addressed the press’ multitudes in black coat and tie –
Artfully disheveled to display my injury –
And said, “Oh, no, you never did hit me,
But only just killed me, and yes, I did die.”
There were no further questions. They went out
Into the streets, leaving me – not alone but unmanned,
Less unwanted than unplanned, less unloved than uncanned.
I am not contagious. I am not a lout.

In my life, I have fallen down
Thrice, head hard on wet, sodden ground
And three times I folded my legs
And stood on them, thin, grey little pegs
Arms tucked in close – birds’ wings out of flight
And not tall, no, but standing upright.

comin' up roses.

: kaeltegoeth; March 17th, 0:57

No more cutting. No more drinking - not, anyway, to the horrible extents that I have done. No more smoking - this one I've already started. The next few weeks - months? - are very, very probably going to be hard, but these are props and they are not ways to cope and they are not habits I need.

painting in a cave.

: kaeltegoeth; February 18th, 2:02

I need to start writing for recreation again. Lately, I've only really been able to play songs by a few artists - the Mountain Goats, the Decemberists, Neutral Milk Hotel, and a tiny catalog of miscellaneous others. This, I think, is a sign - these are the styles I'm comfortable with. Work with these.

homework

: kaeltegoeth; February 10th, 22:46

"and Andrew with his auburn hair alights
upon an ivory pillow every night
and dreams sad dreams the same as night before
and wakes up old and sleeps forever more."

Everything is terrible right now. Nothing I want to be happening is happening. Everything I don't want to be happening is happening.

(no subject)

: kaeltegoeth; February 2nd, 3:12

Everybody, please, please, please stop being everybody.

jawbreaker, -5mph.

: kaeltegoeth; January 7th, 0:25

I don't know.

a lightning bolt doesn't know its own strength.

: kaeltegoeth; January 5th, 0:30

Four days.

2009 in the sunshine.

: kaeltegoeth; January 1st, 12:31

Be earnest. 1.
Be brave. 2.
Stay fresh. 3.

(no subject)

: kaeltegoeth; December 24th, 2008

Yesterday on the lake and in coffee- and book- and comic-shops and in a park shortly after dark with woolen cap on head and nose in hair and heart racing with caffeine and whatever else hearts race with.

like trace remnants of acid in your spine.

: kaeltegoeth; December 15th, 2008

- because I want to talk forever but have already told you everything, and because the list of people I feel comfortable talking with about certain subjects gets shorter with every new thing that happens, and because I just failed my first class ever and - handing in my blank exam - my professor and I smiled at each other, and because I need a vacation, and because I want to like and should like and would like going home, and because everyone has been stressed and depressed lately, and because everything terrible has happened lately, and because there is nothing else to think about.